New Years Resolution: Bologna

What is the point? I will never understand, that is for sure. What is the "specialness" of January 1st that is suppose to change lives and make a whole new you? It's just like the first day of school. Everyone is nice the first week and then they realize it is too hard to be nice, so they go back to their old selves. We all do it... don't try to deny it. Yet every year, even I, the epitome of failing New Years Resolutions, set my goals once again, only to cause another round of giving up. But at least now I can recognize I have this problem... more than others admit. In order of goals, I have accumulated my top 10 list for 2008

1. Read the bible in a year

2. Lose 42 pounds... um, please

3. Lose 5 pounds if 42 doesn't work

4. Be nicer

5. Don't judge on first impressions

6. Find a guy and actually keep him

7. Get a Persian kitten (white preferably)

8. Save my money for downpayments

9. Learn about everything I've ever wanted to know

10. Finally, I would love to finish a book. I never make it.

All Grown Up Now!

Sorry for the delays in blogging.... I know several are disappointed. To update those who may not already know, I finally graduated from Harding on December 15 with a Bachelors of Science! Hard to believe that a home-ec degree would ever qualify as a science, but hey, I'll take it. "It is an ever-changing research" they say... that is what makes it a 'science'. Whatever. Since my release of PRISON, I have been enjoying a relaxing vacation of nothing but shopping and crafting and cleaning with the rents in St. Louis. In January I am making the move to Chattanooga, TN to work for my brother John. I finally made my decision, and am just hoping it was the right one! I'm in the transition stage right now of " 13 going on 22" in trying to mature and get ready for the job life. No more sleeping in, no more roommates, no more living by the minute... I will be financially, emotionally and physically on my own now. To be frank... I am TERRIFIED! This is my spiritual test... I know, I know. But I know God has got his hand wrapped around me! Wish me luck!

Times A FLYIN'!

From freshman year and going snipe hunting in a field of meth dealers to senior year of observing, writing, working and analysing my life... my time at Harding has absolutely flown by, just like yall said it would. Though I've cried and cried to get me outta here, I know God made mama say no for a reason. I've made so many mistakes and regrets that I've learned from, and to be honest, I wouldn't change it. Every sin I've committed, every lie I've told, every friend I've lost...I was miserable. I prayed that God would change my heart and He didn't. I was discouraged and hated my life. Looking back on everything the past couple months, it has been amazing to be on the outside looking in and seeing how everything that happened has made me so much stronger. Not only have I finally started saying my prayers everynight and meaning them, but I have a desire for the Lord, which I have wanted all these years. Harding has been absolutely awful for me, and I sometimes wish I had changed schools, but I now understand why God put me here. He did it so I could make the mistakes and know myself better than anyone ever could. Without understanding myself and knowing my heart, I was bound to a life of hopelessness and being lost. I'm so grateful for my pain and suffering, because finally I am able to love myself and be comfortable about my mistakes and know that is what made me a better person. Mom always told me I would have to hit rock bottom before I could get back up, and I think my experience at Harding was my rock.. but if that is what it took, then so be it. I hope someday I can influence people, not by letting them learn from my mistakes, but encouraging them that things will turn out the way GOD intended them to... not the way they themselves wanted them too. I've learned that it's not just a mind thing... but a heart thing, that is the most important.

" Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; 6 in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6